The Tangential: Your stages of celebrity life, as greeted by weekly gossip magazines
Birth: Oh, aren’t you cute! Can we get a photo of your mom holding you against her belly? We’ll run it next to the photo we took of her preggers last month. And one with Daddy! Now that you’re here, your parents the pop star and the pro snowboarder are finally a family!
Starting grade…
A very funny and scarily accurate way to summarize how tabloids treat the celebrity life cycle.



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